Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Jason's 20 Favorite Movies of the Decade

Here are my 20 favorite movies from 2000-2009 (in no particular order). To be fair I haven't seen many of the films that have won awards or been critically acclaimed, so this should more accurately be called "The 20 Best Movies That I've Actually Seen This Decade".

Enjoy the list - What are your favorite movies from the last 10 years?

--Requiem for a Dream
--Gladiator
--No Country for Old Men
--The Hangover
--Sideways
--Let the Right One In
--The Dark Knight
--Wall-E
--Crash
--Lord of the Rings (all three films)
--High Fidelity
--American Psycho
--The Bourne Supremacy
--Anchorman
--The Incredibles
--Kill Bill (1&2)
--The Departed
--Finding Nemo
--Traffic (doubly good because my wife and I saw this on our first date!)
--Almost Famous

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posted by Jason Pinter at 1:08 PM 11 Comments




Wednesday, July 29, 2009

G.I. Joe: The Movie
The Anatomy of Creating Anti-Buzz
(with an update written on 8/4/09--see end of post)

There's some bad buzz going around for the big screen adaptation of the popular cartoon show. I was a HUGE G.I. Joe fan growing up. Can't say I was thrilled to hear they were making a movie, but the first "Transformers" was far better than I expected. Anyway, when I saw the trailer my thought was, "Ugh...this looks terrible."

Now, I'm not a snob, and in fact I enjoyed "The Mummy" (also directed by Stephen Sommers). As we saw with "Iron Man" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" a really good trailer gets people juiced for the film (the IM trailer was so good that The Onion worried about stretching it out to feature film length). So here is a total breakdown of why the G.I. Joe trailer does not work. Here is the actual trailer, so you can follow along at home:


0:11 - Reveal of an underground lair that looks less like 'Cool and ominous' and more like 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

0:15 - Action Movie Cliche #1: Generic bad guy with unidentifiable accent saying, "I want the warheads ready to launch in one hour." Wait, why does that sound familiar...oh yeah!

Dr. Evil: "Here's the plan...we get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for...one million dollars!"

0:19 - Action Movie Cliche 2: Evil guy, over scenes of cartoonish effects and earth-boring drills: "When I'm finished, the world will never forget." Hey, you know who else used drills to deliver their warheads? DR. EVIL!!!!

0:30 - What looks like stock footage of warheads being fired. (wait, what was the point of the drills if they just launch the rockets into the air?)

0:36 - Rocket hits the Eiffel tower. And no, it's not an explosive warhead, it's...green gunk? Ectoplasm? Regardless, the problem with this scene is that in this Michael Bay movie world, we've seen the destruction of so many landmarks, and done with such better effects than in this scene. The effects in this scene are so bad that they look like a spoof of a Michael Bay movie (more than one person has commented that this movie looks like "Team America" only done with real actors. You're practically waiting for the Eiffel Tower to fall onto the Louvre)

0:52 - Action Movie Cliche #3: Dennis Quaid (in total paycheck mode) says, "We have never faced a threat like this."

0:57 - Action Movie Cliche #4: Quaid: "A team is being assembled." (Seriously, could Quaid sound any more weary or any less interested in his dialogue?)

1:00 - Action Movie Cliche #5: Quaid (again...sense a pattern?): "They are the best operatives in the world." (of course they are...sigh...of course they are)

1:03 - Action Movie Cliche #6: Quaid (good lord, how did he say these lines with a straight face?): "When all else fails...we don't."

1:10 - The Best Operatives in the World are given 'Accelerator Suits'. "What do they accelerate?" Duke asks. "You," replies the random in-charge dude.

Now, here's my biggest problem with this movie. In the cartoons, G.I. Joe wore uniforms that were colorful, camouflaged, patriotic. In the movie, they're jet black. No personality, nothing identifiable whatsoever.


My assumption? The studio (or other suits) felt that making a movie that was 'Too American' might hurt overseas box office. Problem is, now you have a movie that's bland as can be. Can you imagine if Iron Man's suit was black? Or if Optimus Prime was a rusty gray? These characters became popular for a reason, and the movie is just washing that out. What's the point of making a G.I. Joe movie if it has nothing to do with the cartoon? In fact, without the end credits to tell you the title of this movie, you would never have any idea it was even created in the same universe as the cartoon.

1:25 - After a few decent-looking action snippets, we launch right back into Action Movie Cliche #7: Quaid: "This is General Hawk. Mission is a go." (Of course it is! If it wasn't, we wouldn't have a movie! And what the hell is their mission? Stop the bad guy? Pick up some Lunchables?)

1:34 - Action Movie Cliche #8: Duke yelling, "Go go go!"

1:45 - Action Movie Cliche #9: Scarlett O'Hara: "We're running out of time!" (followed by Ripcord's plane getting ensnared by that cheesy green ectoplasm. Seriously, "Ghostbusters" came out in 1984 and their slime was more realistic)

1:58 - Even the G.I. Joe logo is now bland and devoid of personality!


2:01 - Action Movie Cliche #10: Baroness: "This has only just begun." (Mercy, I beg of you...)

2:06 - The trailer's 'Money Shot': Two completely unidentifiable guys (guys? girls? who can tell?) dodging a missile by doing all sorts of acrobatic maneuvers that look as realistic as Joan Rivers's face.

So let's analyze why this trailer sucks:

#1: For the most part, the special effects look cheesy and cartoonish compared to movies like "Transformers" and "Iron Man".

#2: G.I. Joe became popular for a reason. Kids loved the uniforms, the characters, the personalities. In this trailer, nobody is identified, nobody has any personalities, and all the uniforms are stark black. Hence at the end, when the two uniformed guys are hurtling through the air, you have no idea who they are. They could even be bad guys since everyone in the movie seems to have been tailored by Darth Vader. I mean, the G.I. Joe theme was one of the most recognizable cartoon themes of all time. (G.I. Joe! The real American Hero...) At least in their movie the Transformers still made that cool noise when they changed into cars and back.

#3: And perhaps the most egregious...there is not a single line of dialogue in this trailer that doesn't come from the moldy Action Movie Cliche book. Seriously, every single line of dialogue is groan-worthy, and delivered with a complete lack of emotion. You can almost sense the shame in the voice of Dennis Quaid (an underrated actor) when he delivers such ludicrous bon mots. And what's the point of having Marlon Wayans? Marlon is a terrific comedic actor who has also had one fantastic, award-worthy serious role (in "Requiem for a Dream" - one of my all-time favorite movies). But here? He has no funny lines, and does nothing of note. Other than Quaid, he's the most recognizable actor here, yet he does nothing except allow the audience to say, "hey, I know him!"

In the end, the trailer looks cheesy, bland and stupid. Now the movie might be a totally different experience (I doubt it, but let's give them a chance), but they could not have gotten people less excited than if they had a monkey fling feces at the audience during the trailer.

UPDATE: 8/4/09
Shockingly (or perhaps not), G.I. JOE seems to actually be getting some pretty good buzz. The reviews on Rotten Tomatoes are pretty darn positive, and it appears G.I. JOE might be more "The Mummy" than "The Mummy 2". Still doubt I'll see it, but I will happily be proven wrong in my early assessments of the film's quality. Still, this not does detract from the fact that the trailer sucks, and if the movie is in fact good then whoever put the trailer together did the movie a great disservice.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 10:42 AM 3 Comments




Thursday, June 25, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

TMZ is reporting that Michael Jackson has passed away. This has been confirmed by the Los Angeles Times. Like millions around the world, I'm stunned. Growing up in the 1980's, I was a huge Michael Jackson fan. "Thriller" is one of two albums that dominated my Tape/CD players growing up--the other being "Use Your Illusion 1" by Guns N' Roses.

Jackson was one of the most famous people in the world and one of the iconic pop culture figures of all time: First for his music and incredible talent, and second, and sadly lastly, for his legal, emotional and financial troubles. The world has lost one of the greatest performers of all time, and one of the most tragic figures of all time.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 6:10 PM 0 Comments




Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Funny Video Day

Zack Attack is back!


Zach Galifianakis interviews Bradley Cooper on "Between Two Ferns"

Click here for more "Between Two Ferns," including thought-provoking interviews with Natalie Portman, Jimmy Kimmel and Jon "Honey Baked" Hamm. I highly recommend this, and highly recommend that you see "The Hangover".

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posted by Jason Pinter at 11:02 AM 0 Comments




Thursday, June 04, 2009

I've Been Punished

If you're a comic book fan, or have a strange desire to see me slaughtered in horrifically brutal fashion, pick up a copy of the new Punisher Max: Naked Kill, written by Bram Stoker award-winning author Jonathan Maberry. Aside from being a fantastic issue, Jonathan was kind enough to name a character after me. And if you want to see what happens to my character (it's the Punisher, I'm sure you have an idea) pick up a copy at your local comic book seller. And I don't want to hear anyone else say, "You got what was coming to you."

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posted by Jason Pinter at 9:50 AM 2 Comments




Thursday, May 21, 2009

Brainstorming Meeting

When I was an editor, we would have semi-regular gatherings called "Brainstorming Meetings." In these meetings--attended by editors and publicity folks--we would toss around ideas that we think would make good books. They would always include memoirs by the celebrity-of-the-moment (who was usually no longer famous by the time the meeting ended), but occasionally ideas for some really intriguing books would materialize, and an enterprising editor would contact the right folks and an actual book would come of it. 

So I'd like to try this right here, have a book "Brainstorming Meeting" at the Man in Black to see what books you would love to see written. They can be memoir, fiction, humor, history or politics. They can be young adult, mystery--any kind of book that isn't out there that you would like to read. Try to be somewhat realistic--J.D. Salinger doesn't seem that keen to pen a sequel to CATCHER IN THE RYE. Otherwise everything is fair game.

I'll start things off with a few ideas:
--A collection of Mitch Hedberg's journals (a la the Kurt Cobain journals that were published a few years ago).
--David Morrell's sequel to FIRST BLOOD.
--A new big, bad, unputdownable 1,000 page Tom Clancy novel.
--A Quentin Tarantino book on film

What are some books you'd love to see published?

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posted by Jason Pinter at 10:14 AM 3 Comments




Thursday, May 14, 2009

LOST: Season 5
Season Finale
Random Thoughts

SPOILER ALERT: Do not read this if you haven't seen the episode. Do not read this if you have missed any episodes. Do not read this if you have consumed alcohol within the last 45 days, or thought that the timeline of the "Terminator" movies was just too darn confusing.

And away we go...

--Great start to the episode. Exactly what we need, the introduction of two more characters (Jacob and he-who-wants-to-kill-Jacob) we've never met, and now must pay attention to. Because the 87 we're currently following weren't enough. Was anyone else slightly, I don't know...disappointed that Jacob was just a regular dude? Shouldn't he have been someone way cooler, like Erik Estrada or Al Bundy?

--Hey, the big stone statue! For a while there I was convinced they were simply going to 'forget' this thing because there didn't seem to be any rational explanation for it being there. Wait, did I use the word 'Rational' in a "Lost" recap? Silly me!

--I did like the Jacob flashbacks, especially the Locke one. Seeing him fall from that building and go splat right behind Jacob made me jump. Good stuff.

--So Eloise is pregnant, presumably with Daniel. That's messed up. Poor girl kills her son...while pregnant with him at the same time. Some therapist is going to get rich off of her.

--When did Radzinsky take over the Dharma initiative? When we first met him, wasn't he a glorified janitor? And where is Horace? And has Horace ever looked in a mirror and realized that he's wearing the bus driver from South Park's wig?

--Juliet commandeers the sub, because she has officially taken control of Sawyer's (cough, LaFleur's) cojones.

--Lapidus wakes up with the group led by the girl who tried to arrest Sayid. I'd completely forgotten about these people. Apparently they have something of great importance in a box. Marcellus Wallace has been looking for that since 1994!

--Richard asks the same question I've been pondering about Locke for three seasons: Why is he so special? The guy keeps getting shot and injured, falls for traps and ploys like he's getting paid to, not to mention that he has slight man-boobs. Why is everyone convinced he has some grand destiny?

--Now Ben is going to kill Jacob. Sure. Why not?

--Jacob distracts Sayid, leading to Nadia's death. Whoa. Didn't see that coming. And now we know how Nadia died. Good scene.

--Suddenly Sayid knows how to operate a nuclear warhead? Wasn't he just a guy who was good at plucking peoples' fingernails out with pliars? He must have hung out with Nicholas Cage's character from "The Rock" since they're the only two people who can dismantle a nuclear device with nothing more than a Swiss army knife.

--Wouldn't you love it if you could just bonk someone on the head, rendering them unconscious for the exact amount of time you require, whereupon they wake up with nothing more than a slight headache? Seriously, every episode there's at least one 'we need this person out of the way' bonk to the noggin that incapacitates them at the right moment. Nobody ever gets a concussion or heaven forbid a fractured skull, and nobody requires more than one bonk. Wouldn't this have been great when you were a teenager? "Son, why didn't you get home until 4 a.m. last night? And why do your clothes smell likes the inside of a Portuguese toilet? And who is this 40-year old woman and why is she wearing your pants?" Bonk. They're out for just enough time for you to cover your tracks.

--Jack and Sayid try to "hide in plain sight" (great idea, doctor) and a massive gunfight breaks out. Sayid takes a bullet in the stomach (NOOOO!!!! SAYID HAS BEEN AWESOME THIS SEASON!), but Jack 'Eastwood' Shepherd kills like 18 people before they're rescued by the Hurleymobile.

--Holy poop on a stick! Vincent! Rose! Bernard! Where have you been? Oh, right, living in a little hut and growing a Gregg Popovich beard. I loved Sawyer's explanation ("We haven't seen you guys since the fire arrows!"). Which is code for, "The writers completely forgot about you, but the fans sent so many letters asking where the hell you were that we needed to address it." Still, nice to see characters again who are content to just live and not get caught up in this interdimensional brouhaha.

--Ben is awesome. After Sun catches him in a lie, he says, "That's what I do." When Locke says, "Can I ask you a question," Ben immediately replies, "I'm a Pisces." I would pay money to watch a show of Ben just messing with people for an hour.

--Ah, so now we get to see for ourselves the story Jack told Kate in the very first episode. And who is waiting outside the operation room? Jacob. Coolness. (Though having recently undergone spinal surgery, this scene made me squirm)

--Wait...so Jack wants to set off the bomb because he and Kate are no longer dating? Seriously dude, that's your rationale? At least this leads to a sweet fight between Sawyer and Jack (which has been a long time coming). Jack holds up surprisingly well considering he's a surgeon and Sawyer is a career scumbag. Three points for the ridiculous field goal kick to the groin. The Gramatica brothers would be proud.

--Juliet breaks up with Sawyer because she thinks he'll break up with her for Kate? Not sure I buy this (or the "not everyone is meant to be together" flashback). Sawyer seems sincere in his love for her, and he's lived with her for the past three years in happiness. Plus he shaved. Getting Sawyer to shave is like getting the Pope to admit he watches the Spice channel.

--Ah, we finally learn how Hurley got out of prison (he was discharged). Slightly anti-climactic. And was anyone else hoping for a Keyser Soze moment when Hurley was getting his possessions back? ("One cigarette lighter, gold. One pocket watch, gold. Extra stretchy band.")

--So Jacob lives in a...foot? Who is he, Miss Marple?

--Locke and Ben enter the foot (that sounds like a bad Jackie Chan movie). Locke gives Ben a knife. I don't think he needs it; Ben could just undermine Jacob to death.

--Miles, the lone voice of reason: what if the hydrogen bomb is what causes the 'Incident' rather than prevents it. And everyone else has an 'aw, hell' moment. I like Miles.

--Another massive gunfight, as the Hurleymobile provides cover for Jack as Radzinsky and Phil shoot at him. Between the whiny Phil, the scraggly Radzinsky, plus Hurley and his band of merry misfits, this seems like the kind of gunfight that would break out at a Star Trek convention.

--Jack throws the bomb down the hole and...nothing. Except the hole starts sucking everything metal towards it, leading to an awesome impaling of Phil by a steel rod. I don't think those rods serve any purpose other than to impale people.

--Really emotional moment, as Juliet gets tangled in chains and dragged into the hole. Sawyer catches her, but the pull is just too strong and she slips away. I have no jokes--that was a really wrenching scene.

--Ilana arrives at the foot and speaks to Richard in a different language. She also calls him Ricardus. Huh? Then she spills open the box to reveal...John Locke's body? Double huh? So who's in the foot?

--Ben and "Locke" find Jacob, and Jacob applauds "Locke" for finding the loophole. Seems the guy from the first scene who wanted to kill Locke has inhabited Locke's body. Again, huh? Though it makes perfect sense for Locke's character: the guy really was just a huge patsy used and manipulated by everyone who ever met him. He believed he had some grand destiny, but in the end his destiny is just to be manipulated to the ultimate degree. If that's true, then it's brilliant.

--Ben kills Jacob (who seemed like he was asking for it). Then he pushes him into the fire. Then he says "you suck" and smears gum in his hair. Ok, I made that last part up.

--Juliet is still alive at the bottom of the hole (yay...huh?), but badly hurt. And right next to her is the bomb. (Wait...the dynamite from the ship goes off if you look at it the wrong way, but a nuclear device can withstand a 100-foot freefall?) So Juliet picks up a rock and bashes the device (so much for Faraday's "specific instructions" on how to detonate it), until finally...Boom.

And so here we are. Some questions answered. Lots more asked. And now, I need an Advil.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:27 AM 2 Comments




Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Why Dan Brown Matters

Now that I'm back in NYC full time, at least once I day I walk through my local bookstore. On any given afternoon, I'm likely to see a group of teenagers huddled in several aisles, hunkered around a book or manga, pointing, talking, laughing and enjoying themselves. To these kids, reading is cool, something to experience and talk about among their friends. They could be doing any one of a dozen other things, but they're hanging out in a bookstore. Things like that make me smile.

Yesterday I wrote a post, perhaps overly snarky, about a poster of Orlando Bloom promoting reading hanging on the wall of a library. Now, regardless of what I think about Mr. Bloom, something in children's literature seems to be working. When you think about all the books that have been published over the last few years that have been cultural touchstones, they're all books aimed at children and young adults. The publication of new books by J.K. Rowling, Christopher Paolini and Stephenie Meyer have become events. People line up at midnight on release day for their copy, just like I did for a brand new U2 album back in the day (my dad always came with me to our local HMV because I was too young to drink the bottle of Guinness that came free with each purchase).

The night Stephenie Meyer's BREAKING DAWN was published last year, I was walking my dog. We passed by my local Barnes & Noble around 11:00, and the line to get in had already wrapped around the block. Kids were dressed to the nines, costumed and buzzing with excitement. I was informed by a security guard that nobody else would be allowed into the store because there was no room. No room! These kids weren't home watching television or playing videogames or texting. On this night, kids were lined up outside of a bookstore because reading was cool. I thought back to a few years ago when my friend Mike had a pool party. I remember all of our friends hanging around, drinking beer and margaritas...all of us except for my friend Mark. Mark was sitting on a chair, reading the sixth Harry Potter book which had just come out. And we all knew to leave him alone.

Yesterday, Knopf/Doubleday announced the September 15th publication of Dan Brown's long-awaited followup to THE DA VINCI CODE, one of the best-selling books of all time. Five million copies of THE LOST SECRET will be shipped to stores. But five months before the book comes out, the sniping has already begun.

The book will be a critical and commercial disappointment.
The book won't save the publishing industry.
Dan Brown has goofy hair.

The haters can shove it. To my mind, THE DA VINCI CODE was a perfectly decent thriller. No more, no less. Sure the prose was a bit clumsy, but the plot kept me entertained for a few hours (something that should not be taken lightly). Obviously the book touched a nerve far deeper than that of pure entertainment, just as books by Ms. Rowling and Ms. Meyer have. I have read three different New York newspapers this morning, and all three have prominent articles on the impending publication of THE LOST SECRET. These articles are not buried in the middle of the paper, but are printed within the first eight or so pages (right up there with tawdry wedding scandals and mockery of David Patterson--you know, the important stuff). The publication of this book is a bona fide event. When was the last time a book for adults was an actual event? Sure Grisham and Patterson sell books by the truckload, but their release dates are hardly the kind of thing you call your friends to talk about.

So naturally, the haters are going to come out of the woodwork, as is their right. There are a lot of people who disliked the book for the book itself, but there are also a lot of people who hated the book for what it stood for ("This is one of the best-selling books ever?"). I don't really care much about those people. THE LOST SECRET is a thriller, first and foremost. Even the press release touts it as pure entertainment ("...a brilliant and compelling thriller...readers will feel the thrill of discovery..."). And yet within minutes September 15th became a full-fledged pop culture event. People will be lining up to buy their copy. And even if it doesn't come close to the success of THE DA VINCI CODE, I can't remember the last time there was this kind of buzz about a book aimed at adults. Perhaps Bill Clinton's memoir approached it, but I'm willing to bet a whole lot more people actually read Brown's book than Clinton's (I bought Clinton's MY LIFE, and it looks lovely holding up the foundation of my apartment building).

So September 15th will come, and there will surely be a great deal of criticism before and after the fact. I don't really care. I'll buy my copy and I'll read it, and I know a lot of other people who will too. The book may be brilliant, or it may suck. It may shatter every sales record, or it may be a commercial disappointment. It may be read as entertainment, or it may be read for the religious and spiritual implications. The bottom line is that all of this discussion and argument, all of this buzz and anticipation...this makes reading cool for people of all ages. And that is something that should never be taken for granted.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:46 AM 12 Comments




Monday, April 20, 2009

Look into my eyes...

While speaking at a library over the weekend, I came upon...this. Now, perhaps I am not exactly the demographic that can be persuaded to read a book by a sultry-looking Orlando Bloom...but is this not the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen? It's not as if celebrities advertising reading is a bad thing (just across the room was a poster featuring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart reading a copy of TWILIGHT while looking like they're actually enjoying it. Yes, they were reading it. Not clutching it like Linus with his blanket). So why is this ridiculous? Let's go step-by-step:

1) Orlando does not look like he shows any interest in reading. In fact, he seems to be saying, "Let me take that silly book from you so we can snuggle."

2) What kind of book is he holding? Some sort of bible from the middle ages? I think he's trying to channel Ron Burgundy: "I am Orlando Bloom...I own many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

3) Who does this appeal to? Teenage boys? Nope. Older men? Uh-uh (at least I hope not). Older women? Come on, they're into Hugh Jackman. Teenage girls? Ick. Orlando is 32. That's entering creepyhood.

4) Orlando is clutching that book so tightly it's as if he wants to do everything in his sharp-cheekboned power to prevent you from reading. "Oh, you want this book? You know where I have lots of books? In my bedroom (wink, wink)."

5) "Orlando Bloom @ your library"--is that a threat?

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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:52 AM 7 Comments




Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Can MILF Island Be Far Behind?

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posted by Jason Pinter at 11:00 PM 0 Comments




Friday, March 06, 2009

Liveblogging the first 13 minutes of "Castle"

So there's this new show premiering called Castle, in which a rock-star mystery author (Nathan Fillion) tails a female cop (Stana Katic) in order to research his new book. Or something like that. Anyway, the first 13 minutes are online and I figured I'd live blog it.

0:31
Interesting opening as the anonymous killer decorates his bloody victim with flowers. Kind of like "American Beauty" meets "Dexter" with the new Batman theme spliced in.  The eyeball flowers are a little bit of overkill.

1:08
Novelist Richard Castle is introduced at some hoity toity book party, which from the looks of it probably ate up 80% of his publisher's marketing budget for the year. Castle signs some blond lady's bosom then says "Call me when you want to wash that off" in his best 'Miggs from Silence of the Lambs' voice. Imagine what would happen if someone did this at Bouchercon. How long would it take for the cops to handcuff him? Three seconds? Two?

1:22
Castle's new book is called STORM FALL and his series character is named Derek Storm. I hope Barry Eisler, RAIN FALL and John Rain are getting royalties from this.

1:40
Castle signs books for all the hot young things in the audience. Most ludicrous part of this scene? It's a book party for a mystery author and there's not a person there (besides Castle) over the age of 35. This is like bizarro mystery world.

2:01 
We meet the female cop, Kate Beckett, as she studies dead flower girl, saying, "Who are you?" I hope CSI is getting royalties from this. She immediately deduces that the killer knew the girl. Man, usually the cop has to investigate to determine that. I guess they figure we've all seen cop shows so they're cutting to the chase. "No signs of a struggle," Beckett analyzes. Except, of course, for the two bullet wounds. Just saying.

2:25
Seems Kate is a CWWDDOGOM (Career Woman Who Doesn't Date Or Get Out Much). I hope every female romantic comedy lead from 1980 to the present is getting royalties from this.

3:17
We learn that Castle's publisher is also his ex-wife. They must have met at BEA or something.

4:21
Seems Castle has killed off Derek Storm due to artistic malaise and is suffering from writers block. His ex-wife/publisher, Gina, (again an attractive blond who looks like she just graduated college) threatens to demand he return his advance unless a new book hits her desk ASAP. Gina is low-talking to the point where she makes Jack Donaghy seem like a circus barker.

4:59
Castle's daughter, Alexis, is a bookworm and his mother, Martha, is a horny old lady. I hope Blanche from "The Golden Girls" is getting royalties from this. Apparently Castle hangs around in his underwear instead of writing. Hey, he really is a novelist! 

5:29
Mama Castle is on the lookout for older, wealthy, unmarried men, which she picks up on her 'graydar'. Ok, that was funny.

5:45
Castle offers Alexis (who is studying while at the party) a glass of champagne, which she refuses. Hasn't she seen "Gossip Girl"? Fifteen year olds can't get anywhere in life unless they're alcoholics! Castle criticizes her bookwormishness by asking how she wants to be viewed by her (unborn) children. Ok, talking to your fifteen your old daughter about her not-yet-conceived children is a little creepy.

6:14
Castle complains that too many people ask him where he gets his ideas. Hey, he really is a novelist!

7:03
Seems the flower girl murder was a scene right out of one of Castle's books. I hope the creators of "Basic Instinct" are getting royalties from this.

7:10
After being read his rap sheet (um, isn't he just there for questioning?) Castle offers to spank Kate. I did that once, but Ray Kelly wasn't amused.

8:06
Seems flower girl is the second murder patterned from a Castle novel. Castle then name drops James Patterson and Stephen J. Cannell as his poker buddies. Props for acknowledging actual authors and not making people up.

10:02
Castle interrupts Alexis (studying again) by asking why she's not listening to Martha sing while Graydar from the party plays the piano. No wonder U.S. test scores are way down. 

10:49
Alexis wants to know more about the murders. She's got a kind of cool Penny from "Inspector Gadget" thing going, and I hope she has a real role on this show.

11:33
Kate brings a stack of books into the station and asks her two partners to brush up on Castle's backlist. One asks, "Do you have any on tape?" The other cop laughs. Isn't illiteracy hilarious?

11:40
Apparently Kate inscribes her books 'From the library of Kate Beckett.' Um, ok...

12:16
Kate's partner: "I work dead bodies all day long. The last thing I want to do when I go home is read murder books." That's actually a fair point.

12:37
Dead flower girl is covered in rose petals, and nobody even thinks of "American Beauty"?

Analysis:
Kind of a formulaic first taste, and I'm not feeling the actress playing Kate Beckett (she seems to be doing a Lucy Liu-lite). But Nathan Fillion has personality, and his daughter seems kind of cool (and it's nice to have a teenage character who's not a total druggie or misanthrope). I'll probably watch the rest of the first episode, but the show's going to have to get a lot more original to keep me interested.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:05 AM 3 Comments




Monday, March 02, 2009

Rod Blagojevich's Book Deal: Decoded!

As a former editor, current author and part-time super hero, I have participated on both sides of the dealmaking process. So when I read that former Chicago Governor Rod Blagojevich just got a "six figure book deal," I decided to put on my super-secret publishing decoder glasses and see what the former Governor's press release really says (Actual release in italics. Decoded secret press release in bold). Here we go:

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich today signed a six figure book deal with one of the largest independent book publishers in the U.S., the PR firm representing Blagojevich announced today.

Decoded: Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagjoevich today signed a deal with the largest publisher of tawdry, D-list celebrities, celebrity wives, and all out degenerates, including Debbie "Eminem's mom" Nelson, Natalie "world's highest paid escort" McLennan, Larry "Hustler" Flint, Vera "I kept Dee Dee Ramone's last name so people would recognize me" Ramone King, and Patch "Robin Williams played me in a 1998 movie, remember?" Adams, the PR firm representing Blagojevich announced today because Blagojevich is paying them to do so.

Blagojevich, who vehemently denies he tried to sell President Obama's senate seat, will write about the discussions, the considerations and the factors involved in picking Obama's successor to the U.S. Senate. Blagojevich maintains he was hijacked from office because of politics. In the book, he will write about his journey that led up to the twice-elected governor and former congressman being ousted from office. He also plans on exposing the dark side of politics that he witnessed in both the state and national level.

Decoded: Blagojevich will consistently claim to be an upstanding member of society and a squeaky-clean politician, while refusing to take blame for anything he's ever done and throwing everyone he's ever met under the bus because he's not going to sell books unless he creates controversy. He will also include a full color photo insert full of old people, children and minorities holding hand-made signs that read "We Love You, Rod Blagojevich" spelled out in macaroni.

Phoenix Books is run by maverick publisher Michael Viner whose titles include books from celebrities like mega-rock star and businessman Gene Simmons and talk show host Larry King. Phoenix also has a large selection of popular fiction and intriguing mystery books.

Decoded: Michael Viner is a "maverick" who publishes disgraced personalities like Jayson Blair who no other publisher will touch because they wouldn't be able to sleep at night, as well as books from musicians like Gene Simmons who have since made nasty sex tapes and sold their artistic souls for reality television glory.

"The governor chose to go with a large independent company because he wanted to tell his story without any restrictions over content that might've come with a major publishing house," says Glenn Selig, Blagojevich's publicist and founder of The Publicity Agency. "He simply did not want to accept constraints or conditions on what he could say in this book."

Decoded: The Governor signed a deal with Phoenix because no mainstream publisher would touch him with a ten foot pole, and because he likely wouldn't talk about any issues that were not completely self-serving or include anything juicy or interesting that people would actually want to read. Yet he must spin this unsurprising lack of interest so he sounds just like his "maverick" publisher.

Selig says the governor will tell the American public the truth about what happened. He does not intend to pull any punches and will reveal information and provide insights that will at times be embarrassing to himself as well as to others.

Decoded: Remember, he was hijacked from office due to politics, so any embarrassing insights will certainly not have anything to with Blagojevich's political career, because that would contradict the notion that he did nothing wrong. Instead, the former Governor will discuss the time he peed himself during a screening of "The Blair Witch Project." 

"There were some people in high places who didn't want the governor to write this book and worked to try to squash a book deal," says Selig.

Decoded: By high places, the Governor means Dale Jorgenson, the guy Blagjoevich lifeguarded with one summer, who heard that his former friend Rod is planning to tell the embarrassing story about the two of them, a bottle of Cuervo and a donkey from Tijuana named Carlos. 

The terms of the book deal were not disclosed. The book, which has a working title of "The Governor," is set to be released by Phoenix Books in October.

Decoded: The terms of the deal were not disclosed because a former Governor taking a low five figure, incentive-laden publishing contract is kind of embarrassing, and we'd prefer to call it a six figure deal because technically if the Governor earns his bonuses it could conceivably total that much. And the title of Blagojevich's book was inspired by Richard Nixon's autobiography: "The President".

The literary agent of record is Jarred Weisfeld of Objective Entertainment.

Decoded: Don't call him, he'll call you.

For Breaking News developments on former Gov. Blagojevich, please follow The Publicity Agency on Twitter at http://twitter.com/PublicityAgency.

Decoded: For breaking news on Shaquille O'Neal's current dining location, follow him on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/the_real_shaq. Because that will be far more entertaining.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 5:23 PM 4 Comments




Friday, January 23, 2009

Catching up on T.V.

I'm not a huge t.v. guy. For about three years, the only show I watched regularly was "The Sopranos." I started a remarkable number of shows well into their runs, catching up on DVD and then managing to squeeze in the last season or two as they actually ran.

I was always curious about "Lost," so when my spinal surgery coincided with a gift from my sister of a Netflix subscription, what better time to catch up. Last night, my wife and I, after a manic Lost binge in which our DVD player nearly burned out, finally caught up on all four seasons of Lost. So when the next episode airs on the 28th, we'll officially be right where everyone else is. Mainly confused as all hell. My thoughts on Lost?

Brilliant storytelling. So-so dialogue. I'm officially tired of Jack and Kate, but really getting into Ben, Pesmond (Penny & Desmond), Sawyer and Potentially Evil Sun. I'm on the fence with Hurley, but after I nearly coughed out a lung when he threw his Hot Pocket at Ben, I'm beginning to like the big guy. The most baffling thing to me is that not one character has had an all-out freak out. They all seem remarkably unperturbed by the fact that they've spent several months on some sort of magical island, filled with polar bears, freaky science experiments and time travel. I keep waiting for someone to just say, "Wait, hold up. Is anybody else wondering what the f*&k is going on???" 

It's like all the characters live in a world where they've watched so many science fiction movies that they're not even remotely perplexed by what's happening. They're simply like, "We need to get to the underwater station to block the signal being sent out by the evil cadre of mad scientists, because the guy who has clairvoyant flashes had a vision of it." And nobody bats an eye. They're just like, "Ok then. It's a two day hike. Let's go while there's still sunlight." 

I just want one character (probably Hurley) to have a John McClane moment. You know, that moment in "Die Hard 2" when he says, "Another basement...another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?" Just to let us know that the characters (and writers) are aware of how ridiculous--I mean, unusual--their circumstances are.

Right now I have three regular shows: Lost, 30 Rock, and The Office. My agent was cool enough to send over the first two seasons of How I Met Your Mother on DVD, so I've been churning through those. Definitely a show that began finding its legs early on, and probably has already set a record for most penis jokes in a prime time sitcom. The cast is terrific, though I'm ready to commit a homicide on Ted, the eternal buzzkill, the only twenty-something guy who goes to a bar with his friends and spends an hour talking about what he wants to name his unborn children. If you want to know why LadLit as a genre has not and will never work, watch Ted for five minutes. If you don't want to beat him to death after the eightieth time he recites his 'What I look for in the girl I'm going to marry' list, then you're a better man than I.

It's great to see Allyson Hannigan breaking out of the "band camp girl" mold (and her Lily is probably the most relatable character), and Cobie Smulders is really likable as Robin. With any other actor Barney Stinson could have been a total d-bag, but NPH portrays the character with enough of a wink so that you know he doesn't take himself too seriously. Jason Segal is pretty good (and he's a hero for tall, awkwardly proportioned guys!), but after "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" I can't help but feel like he's a bit hamstrung in PG sitcom land. And Ted...sigh...just transport him into a Nick Hornby novel and let him hang out with Rob Fleming for eternity. They can spend the rest of their lives cataloguing mix tapes.

Once I'm through with these shows, there are others I'll catch up on via DVD/iTunes. Here's the list of shows on my queue. Let me know if I should add anything else:

1) Deadwood
2) Battlestar Galactica
3) Damages
4) Burn Notice
5) House
6) Friday Night Lights

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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:15 AM 7 Comments




Tuesday, January 13, 2009

"I Should Have Wikipedia'd Neville Chamberlain"

Great piece from last night's "Daily Show" on what it takes to be a successful cable news pundit. Specifically, a lack of intelligence, decency, and common sense. And here's the full video of the hilariously squirmy Kevin James/Chris Matthews confrontation. Come on, who hasn't had a teacher ask a question you didn't know the answer to where you tried to b.s. your way out of it? (Only I'm assuming you didn't do it on national television) I cracked up when Mark Green said, "Kevin, when you're in a hole, stop digging."



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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:11 AM 0 Comments




Thursday, January 08, 2009

Frost/Nixon vs. The Dark Knight
(or why Hollywood should embrace its inner blockbuster)

A few weeks ago, I saw Frost/Nixon. I was excited for this movie, as I always love good political dramas, the acting was getting great reviews and it was about a period in history I wasn't that familiar with but seemed riveting. And as I left the theater I felt...disappointed. Not because it was a bad movie--it was not--but because it could and should have been so much better. As Oscar season approaches, Frost/Nixon had made many Top 10 lists and seems a lock for numerous Oscar nominations. Now, if Frost/Nixon gets nominated for Best Picture and/or Best Director over The Dark Knight and Christopher Nolan, there's something seriously wrong with the industry. Frost/Nixon never becomes as good as it should be, whereas The Dark Knight lived up to the massive hype and then some, becoming one of the most exciting, if not provocative movies of the year (if not decade). The Oscars have always had it in a bit for the unabashed blockbuster. Even when films like Gladiator and Braveheart won (both of which I loved) there was an excuse of them being historical dramas, blood-stained period pieces. 

This is not to pick on Frost/Nixon, which is still one of the better movies of the year, but to say that if this movie, which was not brilliant by any stretch of the imagination, gets an Oscar nod over The Dark Knight (which, in my opinion, was), it's simple bias towards comic book films and money. Here are my thoughts on Frost/Nixon (SPOILERS ABOUND):

--The directing was workmanlike at best. There was never a sense of Ron Howard making his material better, rather it was simple point and shoot. There is intrigue and passion, but it comes from the performances and the real life historical drama. Compare any scene in Frost/Nixon to the armored car chase in TDK (for my money, one of the top 5 action scenes ever), the bank robbery, the Joker's escape from prison, the Joker's home movies...TDK is just filled with scenes where Christopher Nolan makes what could have been a routine action movie come alive. The five seconds after his escape when the Joker is leaning out of the cop car, lights flashing in the distance, chilled me more than any of the verbal fireworks in F/N.

--Frost/Nixon is filled with fight analogies. As David Frost prepares for his final interviews, the dialogue practically sounds like it comes from Rocky. But here's the problem: Frost never seems to give a damn. Sure at the end he seems to care, and spends all of one night cramming, but in the weeks and months leading up to the interviews it's all about ratings, all about money. You don't care as much if Frost gets Nixon to admit his guilt, because for Frost it feels like the interview itself is the victory. And once Nixon does (sort of) own up, the movie basically ends. There's no sense of how the moment affected history, and Frost doesn't really relish the victory. Other than a brief epilogue, there's no closure, and you get the feeling that it didn't really change all that much. Do you think Rocky would have been nearly as dramatic if the Italian Stallion fought Apollo Creed just for the payday? Instead Frost comes off like a student who stayed up all night studying for a class he slept through the whole semester, and miraculously got a B+. 

--I'm a big fan of Sam Rockwell and Oliver Platt, but they're just out of place in this movie. They come off as too silly, undercutting the seriousness of the film's tone and setting and its impact on history. Rockwell is supposed to have a dramatic role, but I just never bought him in it. Platt is funny as always, but one thing this movie did not need was comic relief. Trade Rockwell for, say Mark Ruffalo, and I think the role would have been better suited.

--The acting, especially between the two leads, is terrific. Though I actually felt Michael Sheen did a more convincing job with Frost than Langella with Nixon. Yes the accent and mannerisms are great, but I never felt like I was watching Richard M. Nixon, I felt I was watching Frank Langella's impersonation of Nixon. Still, Hollywood seems to love good impersonations, and Langella will undoubtedly get an Oscar nod.

In the end, Frost/Nixon is a good movie, not a great one, yet it looks to become one of the most decorated only for the reasons that it seems like it should be. Yet two of the most commercial films of the year--Wall-E and The Dark Knight--were also two of the best, easily, and far better that F/N. Yet it seems F/N will get more Oscar nods simply because it has the pedigree to. It is less than the sum of its parts, and the only reason I've thought about it sense seeing it was because I'm depressed at the seeming inevitability of the awards it will reap. If Hollywood wants to reward true creative genius, it should do so regardless of whether or not its characters wear a costume and face paint. Passion and emotion are so difficult to provoke in a film, and the two films I was most passionate about were a film where the lead character wears a cape, and an animated film about a little hunk of junk who barely speaks. But ask me what movies I'll be talking about in 10 years, and I'll show you my well-worn Wall-E and The Dark Knight DVDs.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 10:10 PM 3 Comments




Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Snuggie 

In case you haven't yet heard of the Snuggie, watch the below video. It might be the single greatest infomercial of all time, and the most important American historical video document since the Zapruder film. Anyway, once you've watched the video, read this blog by Joe Posnanski. It captures everything glorious about the Snuggie and the people selling it. Remember, if you have a family member that's aching to look like one of the freaky Los Illiminados monks from "Resident Evil 4", the Snuggie is the perfect gift.


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posted by Jason Pinter at 9:56 PM 5 Comments




Monday, December 29, 2008

Because I'm a Huge Dork

Here is Wired's list of the 10 most incredible animal videos of 2008. Including this one, of a gibbon acting like your little sister annoying you in the backseat of a car during a long family trip. Not that I've ever experienced anything like that.


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posted by Jason Pinter at 1:57 PM 0 Comments




Monday, December 22, 2008

The Wrestler

Saw "The Wrestler" this weekend with my dad. Terrific movie, the kind that sits in the pit of your stomach once it end and keeps you thinking about it. Plus I've listened to that Bruce Springsteen song about 150,000 times the past two days (Bruce wrote the title track specifically for the film, and if he loses the "Best Original Song" Oscar to Randy Newman or something silly I might set fire to the Academy). Anyway, a few thoughts:

SPOILERS ABOUND. REPEAT: SPOILERS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

--Just a wonderful, sad, lived-in performance by Mickey Rourke as Randy "The Ram" Robinson, the kind of performance that's so convincing it doesn't feel like he's acting. And as a washed up 80's has-been trying to make a comeback playing a washed-up 80's has been trying to make a comeback, maybe he isn't. After The Ram's speech before the final match, about his missed opportunities and wasted life, my dad said, "That speech sounded like it could have been about Mickey Rourke." 

--The performances other than Rourke--Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood--feel authentic because there's no extraneous dialogue, no needless exposition. These characters have lived their lives and don't need to explain anything. Even though Evan Rachel Wood (as Rourke's alienated daughter) spends relatively little time with him, the anguish in her eyes, even more wrenching in their final scene together lets you know just what a kind of father Rourke's Randy was. And Tomei's Cassidey--like Rourke's Robinson--does what she does simply because she doesn't know anything else. 

--As someone who became a bit of a wrestling fan late in life (I was a pretty ardent follower from about 2001 until the awful Chris Benoit double murder/suicide last year), I was impressed with how authentic the wrestling scenes were. From the crowd chants to the moves to the weapons, this was an authentic a "sport" movie as I've ever seen. Nice to know Darren Aronofsky went the extra mile to get the details right.

--Definitely a tough movie to watch at times, both physically and emotionally. The violence in some of the matches is hard to bear, even more so knowing that these guys put their bodies through this in real life. Wrestlers do cut their foreheads with razor blades to draw blood. They do end some matches with dozens of thumbtacks sticking out of their bodies. They are mangled by barbed wire and they do fall off of ladders through tables. As hard as those scenes are to watch, the emotional ones are just as difficult. Deep down we seem to know that Randy "The Ram" will never redeem himself, so in some way we feel like his daughter when he comes to her in the middle of the night. We're sad, we might shed tears for him, but we've also moved on. This is the man he is, and thinking he could be anything different would be lying to him and to ourselves.

--The ending is staged beautifully, and as it sinks in as to what Randy is planning to do we watch not in horror, but with some sense of relief, because it feels like things are going to end the way they should.

I could write endlessly about wrestling and how authentically this movie deals with the sad reality of broken down wrestlers who end up penniless, incapacitated and alienated from society, but instead I'll direct you to this terrific piece by ESPN's Bill Simmons. Chris Benoit was legitimately my favorite wrestler while I followed the 'sport', and it hit me pretty hard when news broke of his death. Since then I have not been able to look at wrestling the same way, and though the WWE (basically the only mainstream wrestling organization) has instituted more stringent drug testing, the list of wrestlers who die before their time grows every year. 

While "The Wrestler" is a harrowing portrait of what happens when the only thing you're good at in your life is taken away from you, it is also a frighteningly realistic portrait of what the cameras don't show. These men, once blessed with seven figure incomes, bodies like Greek Gods and hordes of admiring (and often lustful) fans, are often reduced to taking Polaroids for $8 a pop, scars covering their bodies that have been ravaged from far too many painkillers, enhancers, and injuries that the adrenaline masks until it's too late. This movie shows what happens once the fireworks die down, what happens once the curtains close behind you for the final time. For many of these men (and some women), once the applause dies down, silence is the only crowd that waits.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 9:46 AM 0 Comments




Sunday, November 02, 2008

Affleck does Olbermann

This is the funniest thing Affleck has done since Gigli. He seriously looks like his head might explode.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 9:07 AM 1 Comments




Friday, October 31, 2008

Yo, she-bitch...let's go

Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. To celebrate Halloween, here are a few clips from the greatest and most quotable horror series of all time: Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" trilogy. Will there ever be a fourth Evil Dead, now that Raimi has made a bajillion dollars directing the Spider-Man films? We can only hope. But whatever happens just remember...good, bad...I'm the guy with the gun.













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posted by Jason Pinter at 9:32 AM 1 Comments




Saturday, October 25, 2008

Max Payne review

I was excited for this movie. I even wrote a post about it. And now after seeing it this afternoon, I have to say that I'm really disappointed. Not because the movie is terrible. It is not a good movie, but nor is it terrible. I'm disappointed because it should have been good. Many of the elements of a good movie are there, but they're all jumbled about and mismatched and in the end the whole is nowhere near the sum of its parts.

Max Payne is a terrific video game. Not just for the gameplay itself, but for the story, the atmosphere, the noir, the feeling that Max Payne is carrying the burdens of hell on his shoulders. I still believe Sam Lake, who wrote the game (and whom the original Max was modeled on), could write a flat out awesome novel (hint hint, editors). Part of the problem with the movie has been pointed out by the designers, in that we don't know the full scope of Max's past until halfway through the film. Interestingly, that's when the movie hits its stride. In the game, part of what keeps the pace is that Max is wanted for murder, on the run from cops who believe he killed one of their own, while at the same time unraveling the mystery of who killed his family. Max is burning the candle from both ends. In the first half of the movie he's an outcast, more a nuisance that vigilante. The first half is a C-/D+. The second half is a solid B/B+ (terribly anticlimactic ending notwithstanding). As a whole I give it a C, but the kind of C where I'm even more disappointed because it has so many ingredients to be a really good action/noir movie.

The first half of the movie is grim. Not just grim, but dull. It's a police procedural without the snap, Sin City without the wit. The cinematography is terrific throughout, but there's only so much sluggish dialogue we take take through neat shots of snow and rain. In the game, Max Payne is a tormented soul, a man on a suicide mission from the very beginning. In the movie, Max is more glum and depressed than tormented. He frowns his way through the opening scenes. When cops tell the new guy to stay away from Max Payne, we assume it's simply because he's not a very good conversationalist. It's only halfway through--when we see what happened to Max's family and he sets out to get revenge--that the movie develops a pulse.

The performances are a shame. Wahlberg is fine, but he needed more Dignam. Max should be a coiled snake, ready to strike at any moment. The other actors are fine in their roles, but are not given much. In the game, Mona Sax is mysterious, dangerous, elusive. In the movie she's merely ornery (though the scene where she confronts Max with a baton is pretty good). Beau Bridges brings some needed gravity to his scenes, but loses all momentum with a needless plot twist. Ludacris (brilliant in "Crash") is wasted as the kind of generic cop Harvey Keitel has been playing for the last ten years who walks around saying things like, "Who authorized this?" And club Ragnarok--pulsing with satanic menace in the game-- is simply a generic drug warehouse. And while I actually did like how they gave Jack Lupino more of a background that makes sense within the film and game mythology, the big fight was a big letdown. The movie ends quite abruptly, with half a dozen or more loose ends that simply were not tied up. Not in the "get ready for the sequel" sense, but more, "we wanted this to clock in at under an hour and forty minutes and just didn't have time" sense.

In the second half, when Max invades Ragnarok and Aesir, it livens up considerably. There's some great camerawork (the scene with Max and the sniper is really cool), and when Max finally goes gung ho and just wreaks havoc in Aesir we finally get a sense of what the entire game was like. That's what "Max Payne" should have been. Max should be tortured, relentless, merciless, soulful. It's a weird comparison, but it should have had more "Gladiator" in it. The movie does have this in drips and drabs, and that's why this C is that much more disappointing.

A few random comments (Spoiler Alert):
--The ending of the game is terrific, and would have fit here perfectly. For whatever reason they scratched it. 
--If Lena Horne isn't going to matter at the end, why introduce her in the first place? They should have either let Max go after her, or kept B.B. as the main villain.
--What the hell happened to Mona? At least in the game there's a sense of mystery (is she alive or dead?). Once the elevator door closes in the film, it just seems like they forgot about her.
--I did think they did a pretty good job keeping the fight scenes relatively realistic. No fancy wire stunts, and the bad guys do shoot straight. I liked that Max took some major damage, and the "Not Yet" moments with his wife were surprisingly effective.
--Why was the best line from the trailer "When a man loses the people he cares about the most..." not in the movie?
--Why cast Marlo from "The Wire" (Jamie Hector) as a bad guy and give him nothing to do?
--Where has Chris O'Donnell been? (actually he was one of the most effective characters)
--I understand they couldn't get all the secondary characters from the game into the movie, so I'm glad they added a few nice touches for fans (i.e. Gognitti's self-storage).
--Did Max really not notice the Valkyrie wings until he saw the letterhead? They were on the wall in the Aesir building, I mean, he's not blind...
--The end of the game works so well because Max has spent the entire game in slums and creaky mansions, so when he makes his assault on the soulless steel Aesir building it really does feel like a different world. Yet in the movie he spends two or three scenes in Aesir before the final showdown. Just a bit anticlimactic, and I would have loved to see that helicopter come down in a fiery bal, Max standing at the edge looking at the wreckage, knowing it was all over. Maybe they ran out of movie, but that would have been a killer scene.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 10:02 AM 3 Comments




Sunday, October 19, 2008

SNL Brings the Funny

Last night's episode was the best of the new SNL season. Heavy on the guest stars, heavy on the funny. And was anyone else worried Amy Poehler might actually give birth during her rap? Isn't she like 8.99999 months pregnant? Girl can work.  Big ups to Mark Wahlberg and Sarah Palin for being good sports, and to Josh Brolin who even made the Fart Face sketch watchable. Here are two choice clips:



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posted by Jason Pinter at 11:35 AM 1 Comments




Saturday, October 04, 2008

Greatest Movie Villains

So I was thinking about "The Dark Knight," and firmly believe that Heath Ledger's Joker is one of the greatest movie villains of all time. So I was wondering who people think are the greatest movie villains ever. Here are a few of my picks:

Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in "Die Hard"
Orson Welles as Hank Quinlan in "Touch of Evil"
Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in "The Silence of the Lambs"
Gene Hackman as Little Bill Daggett in "Unforgiven"

Who do you think are the greatest movie villains ever?

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posted by Jason Pinter at 4:21 PM 8 Comments




Thursday, September 25, 2008


I've got about 4 years before I'm co-writing a vampire trilogy with the eighth wardrobe assistant from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." (the movie, not the tv show)

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posted by Jason Pinter at 8:14 AM 0 Comments




Friday, September 05, 2008

Max Payne

Ok, this movie looks better than it has any right to. Not that the source material isn't there, but let's just say that the track record of adapting video games into movies isn't exactly stellar (Super Mario Bros., Doom, Double Dragon, anything directed by Uwe Boll). But this looks like it could be different. 

If you were going to adapt a game into a movie, there isn't a better one than Max Payne. The game itself is brilliant, but the story is what made the game work. It's literally video game noir, dark, intense and disturbed. What set it apart was the use of graphic novel panels and the lead character's voice over to further the story line. You'll need help counting all the references to film and pulp noir. And the story line itself? A broken cop, whose wife and daughter were brutally murdered, turns vigilante to seek vengeance on those responsible. Fairly cut and dry, but in the game Max is an incredibly sympathetic character whose rage has his psychosis at a pitch that rivals his victims. 

The visuals have two levels: bleak and bleaker. So what this trailer does, aside from provide action that looks pretty cool, is give you a hint of the despair Max feels. He has more in common with the original Batman/Bruce Wayne than your typical detective or cop. And between Max Payne, Metal Gear and Resident Evil, video gaming went from something children did to pass the time to a wholly interactive experience with storylines as gripping as many films (and some novels).

Mark Wahlberg is great when he has roles that are a mixture of internal sadness and external rage or pure id (Boogie Nights, The Departed) and Mila Kunis seems perfectly cast as Mona, the mysterious woman who helps (or does she?) Max track down and eliminate his enemies. The supporting cast is solid too: Ludacris (who was robbed of an oscar nom for "Crash"), Beau Bridges, Donal Logue, Chris (does Christopher Nolan have my phone number?) O'Donnell and Jamie Hector (Marlo from "The Wire). Plus that Marilyn Manson song ("If I was Your Vampire") fits perfectly. Anyway, here we go:

The film trailer


And one of the game's terrific cut scenes:

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posted by Jason Pinter at 9:22 AM 3 Comments




Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The Shield
Season 7: The Final Act
Episode 1: Coefficient of Drag

The episode begins as Shane Vendrell walks up the stairs to his apartment (has anything good ever happened to Shane when he's about to enter an apartment?), only to find his pregnant wife, Mara, tied up on the couch. Considering what a whiny wet blanket she's been over the years (not to mention her forgiving Shane after he confessed to killing Lem), this might be a good thing. Vic and Ronnie appear from the shadows and beat the holy hell out of Shane, confronting him about kidnapping Corrinne and the kids and grilling him about the pool of blood in Vic's home. Seriously, between this and the beating he took last season, Shane should just wear riot gear 24/7. 

Shane admits that Diro Kezakian found out about the Strike Team's heist of the money train, but in typical weaselly Shane style he tells Vic that she simply "found out." Vic is quick to point out that only four people knew about the heist. Three of them are in the room, and Shane killed the fourth. Shane tells Vic that once he learned Vic's family had been greenlit, Shane kidnapped them for their own safety. Says Vic later on, "his heart was in the right place, but his head as usual was a few steps behind." 

See Shane, realizing Diro Kazakian will stop at nothing to get payback in blood for the money train, has teamed with Diro's competitor, Rezian, to consolidate the Armenian mob which would end the hit on Vic's family. Rezian has forced Shane into indentured servitude to pay off his portion of the money train. This is the second time Shane has ended up in the pocket of a crime boss against his will (Antwan Mitchell). If I were a mob boss, I would move to Farmington and just wait for Shane to knock on my door.

Vic, realizing he needs Shane alive to keep his family safe, lets him live. But Vic wants payback for the attack on his family, and when Shane tells him that the Armenian hit man, Zadofian, is still at large, Vic and Ronnie set out to find the hit man with vengeance in mind. Sometimes I feel like Vic could use a quiet night at home with a cup of Earl Grey and a Nicholas Sparks novel.

We then see Vic talking to an ex-cop who he's hired to protect his family. Between Joe Clark, the P.I. from season 2, and this guy, Vic sure gets a lot of help from shady ex-cops. Right after calming Corrine down by telling her the cop is nothing to worry about (ha!), Vic finds the guy struggling with the limo driver from whom Vic stole that trunkload of files in the finale of season 6. Of course Cassidey happens to walk by, and Vic shoves the driver to the ground so she won't see. (side note: Corrine Mackey has officially been nominated for "Worst Mother in the World" for staying within 1,000 miles of Vic. I mean, they've been harassed by Gilroy and Kavanaugh and just discovered a massive pool of blood in their hallway. Seriously, get the hell away from this man)

Vic takes the limo driver to a shack and chains him to the ceiling, eerily reminiscent of Vic's brutal murder of Guardo. Nice touch. The driver confesses that Pezuela doesn't know the files have been stolen yet, giving Vic an idea. He leaves the driver chained to the ceiling, the gears definitely spinning. Driver: "You're just going to leave me here?" Vic: "Trust me. I could do worse." Dang.

While tracking down the hit man, Zadofian, Ronnie learns that the Armenian mob uses a veterinarian to patch up wounded gang members. Vic and Ronnie brace the doggie doc, (I definitely thought they were going to do something horrible to that dog, phew) and learn that the wounded man is recuperating at a hotel. Shane meanwhile visits Rezian, who tells Shane to find Zadofian and interrogate him on Diro's whereabouts. Shane finds Zadofian's location through a hooker, but arrives at the hotel to find Vic and Ronnie's car already there. Vic braces Zadofian, literally sticking a gun almost right through him (squirm alert), but leaves before losing his cool. After all, if Zadofian is killed while Vic is out of contact with Claudette, people will peg Vic as the culprit (since the dude's blood was found in Vic's home, after all). So when Vic arrives back at the barn, Ronnie gets Diro's cell phone number (to trace her location) and then shockingly puts two bullets in Zadofian, the first time Ronnie has ever killed anyone. Seriously, this made my jaw drop. After six years of milquetoastness, Ronnie shows a totally different side and suddenly becomes a wild card. And I'm riveted.

Shane waits until Ronnie leaves, and naturally freaks out when he finds Zadofian dead since Rezian will realize he's tipped off Vic. Shane cuts off Zadofian's feet to make his murder look like retribution from Diro. (I thought severed feet was a Margos thing, but I guess all Armenian gangsters like to do it)

Back at the barn, the department is being gutted to pay for the settlement for Billings's "injury." Danny ignores Dutch's attempt to talk about their awkward smooch and directs him to a man who claims to have killed his wife. But because the guy was already tried and acquitted he cannot be tried again. Dutch realizes that the man is trying to place blame on a hit man--who now runs a Vinyl siding company (ha!) and is dating a woman the widower wants. It turns out that Billings was the detective on the case, and his shoddy police work led to the acquittal. I know, Billings and shoddy detective work? Shocking! Dutch and Claudette bring Billings back to the barn under the pretense of paperwork (love the granny glasses on Billings), but in reality to get to the bottom of the case. After Claudette and Dutch insult and belittle Billings, the detective snaps back to normal and gets a confession from the hit man's fiancee. Between his injuries being proven false and the illegal use of the Quik Mealer, Claudette is able to dismiss Billings's lawsuit and force him to rejoin the department. 

On a side note--HURRAY FOR THE QUIK MEALER!!! That hunk of junk was the longest running gag on the show, and it's complete poetic justice that it finally bites Billings in the ass. They should totally make the Quik Mealer the newest member of the Strike Team.

Corrine, realizing something ain't right, takes the kids and goes to Shane's home to find out the truth. Just like Corrine to try to get answers from the same guy who kidnapped her 24 hours ago. Shane isn't home but Mara is, and we have a wet blanket-off as both women agree that their men (Vic and Shane) are up to no good. They form an alliance to find out the truth. (About damn time. These two were pretty much the only characters on the show who haven't formed some sort of alliance yet) It turns out Cassidey heard the whole thing, and it reinforces her growing suspicion that her dear old dad is actually a piece of sh%t.

Vic and Aceveda take the stolen files and lock them away, then try to figure out how best to use them. Vic naturally wants to use them to keep his job, while Aceveda wants to bury them to keep the peace and help him politically. Vic astutely points out that Aceveda was happy to use them to bury the truth about his rape, but won't actually use them for good.

Meanwhile, Vic comes up with a plan. Duh. With little recourse to bring down Pezeula legally, and without the firepower to deal with the Armenian threat and the usual gang violence, Vic decides to play both sides against each other. He convinces Pezuela that the limo driver stole the priceless files and sold them to Rezian, who will use them to prevent Pezuela from taking over. Shane then visits Rezian in prison and convinces him that the Mexicans (i.e. Pezuela, the El Salvadorans, etc...) are a massive threat. So basically Vic and Shane have pitted the two most dangerous gangs in the state against each other, setting the stage for a massive bloodbath that they hope will wipe out both gangs in the process. Man, this city is gonna burn...

Analysis
A terrific first episode from top to bottom. Since it starts right after the final episode of season 6, we don't miss a moment. The violence has been ratcheted up to the point where we know things are going to get pretty bad, and between Rezian and Pezuela we have two bad ass mob bosses who aren't afraid to shed a lot of blood to get what they want. I do hope more time is given to the supporting characters--Danny, Dutch--who didn't have much to do this episode. I'm guessing Tina was the one who forgot to clear the room, which led to Danny's attack, and those natural enemies (Tina, effortlessly beautiful but a terrible cop, is the polar opposite of Danny who has worked her ass off only to see Tina become the 'face' of the department) will come to a head. The best moment in the episode was when Claudette talks to Vic about his appeals board being pushed back, telling him he doesn't have a whole lot of friends left. Vic gives his ususal charming smile, but when Claudette leaves his face says everything. In the past six years, Vic has lost every one of his friends, his family, and his reputation. He is a broken man who just doesn't know it yet. But I'm most intrigued by the developments with Ronnie. For a long time it seemed Ronnie was almost too bland, like they were waiting for the right time to pull the trigger (literally) with him. Ronnie killing the unarmed, wounded Zadofian was one of the series' most shocking moments, and Ronnie's behavior afterwards shows it definitely affected him. But whether he is overcome with guilt (like Lem would be) or develops a taste for mayhem (like Shane) has yet to be seen.

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posted by Jason Pinter at 11:15 PM 0 Comments